Black and Gray Angels

Redneck Cop

There is a Redneck Cop sleeping in his cruiser one night. All of a sudden he is awakened by a loud crash. The cop gets out of his car and walks up the road apiece when he notices a car in the ditch. "Damn" he says, "There's a car in the ditch!" He takes out his notebook and writes "car in D-I-T-C-H" for his report.

He walk up the road a bit further and notices another car in the ditch. So he writes "another car in ditch....D-I-T-C-H" for his report.

The cop decides to head back to his car to make the report when he notices a head in the middle of the boulevard. "Damn, somebody's head's in the middle of the boulevard!" He gets out his notebook again and begins writing..."head in middle of" ....then he thinks, boulevard? "B-O..." no, no "B-U..."

"Aww hell" he says and he kicks the head into the ditch... "D-I-T-C-H"

Gone Fishin'

When I retired, I could hardly wait to spend time enjoying my favorite pastime -- bass fishing. I got my own little fishing boat and tried to get my wife to join me, but she just never liked fishing.

Finally, one day at the Bait & Tackle Shop, I got to talking to Sam, the shop owner, who it turned out loves bass fishing as much as I do. We quickly became fishing buddies. As I said, the wife doesn't care about fishing. She not only refuses to join us, but she always complains that I spend too much time fishing.

A few weeks ago, Sam and I had the best fishing trip ever. Not only did I catch the most beautiful bass you've ever seen, only a few minutes later Sam must have caught his twin brother!

So I took a picture of Sam holding up the two nice bass that we caught and showed the picture to the wife hoping that maybe she'd get interested. Instead she says she doesn't want me to go fishing at all anymore! And she wants me to sell the boat! I think she just doesn't like to see me enjoying myself. What would you do? Tell the wife to forget it and continue my hobby or quit fishing and sell the boat as she insists?

A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.

"You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one," the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. "The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with DSL, bsp; light-speed processing .....and," pausing to take another drink of beer.

The Senior took advantage of the break in the student's litany and said, "You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were young......so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little shit, what are you doing for the next generation?"